Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Anger Thoughts - pt 1?

Anger...

We all have issues with anger. Those who do not are obviously missing something.

For some, anger is something to be reigned in. Others something to be ignored, and others still, something to let flow freely. For most of us, it is something that we deal with day to day.

It’s not every day that we get angry, not even often.

For me, it’s something I use even now and something I have used in the past. The alternative would be unthinkable.

A series of events occurred yesterday that produced anger in me. It was no ones fault, as is often the case. I could have cut loose and wreaked murder and mayhem. Instead I redirected the anger into managing the situation. I took subtle control as I often do, and modified my environment just so.

I cannot go into specifics right now, nor do I want to. Suffice to say that the energy expended redirecting the situation was furnished by the anger, the payback was a smooth social encounter. The cost, since there is always a cost with anger, was a lost moment of tenderness and understanding, but furthermore, there was a lost opportunity to do some good for someone else, so in fact a lost opportunity to fuel the soul for my own self.

There were other forces at work of course, but that’s the gist of it.

So in this particular instance the payback was totally worth the cost. Not so often can I affirm such is the case.

Nevertheless, the point is demonstrated that anger can not only be controlled but can also be used.

The trick is to know the full extent of the cost.

This puts a new slant on it all doesn’t it?

My shrink has recommended that, when the time comes, I state: “I am angry” to whomever I speak, and leave it at that, further discussion being unnecessary and laudable.

I am now left wondering the validity of such an action. Tactically it takes away all the weapons in anger’s arsenal, which can be a godsend if one is prone to violence.

But this would leave me feeling, well, vulnerable, albeit behind a stated defensive position.

Being a warrior in my core, this seems to me to be counterproductive. Maybe it’s meant to show me something else? Another path?

Anger does have one unavoidable cost: perception. It always skews perception. Always.

So maybe adopting this defence is a way of reducing this cost. The business case remains to be done…

But since my thoughts have not yet congealed on the matter… I’m sure there will be more to come. So stay tuned?

1 Comments:

Blogger MedStudentWife said...

You've got some interesting thoughts, Steve - ways of looking at anger that I wouldn't have seen.

Giving me something to wrap my head around.....

January 09, 2008 9:19 PM  

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