Sunday, March 01, 2009

Response Ably

Once again a public-craze driven media reports on credit cards, or specifically the nefarious credit card companies, big bad meanies that they are.

According to a report on La Facture credit card companies are forcing their cards upon us, coercing us into obtaining too many cards! The strong arm tactics of these huge companies are too much to bear. Poor innocent people are getting their lives ruined by having too many cards in their possession. One poor schlep interviewed has four, count'em, FOUR credit cards, so of course his life is now over. It's a gruesome tale.

This is simply overwhelming. It is staggering really.

They pressure you to fill out applications for their cards, literally! You'll be walking in the mall minding your own business when an a-grade assaulter with a sixth-grade diploma will accost you violently and strong-arm you to provide a host of personal information thereby taking over your very life. The scene is horrific if you've ever been witness it will last some 10 minutes. 10 minutes of sheer torture where you can do NOTHING. Usually it involves a bully of massive proportions, typically one of those dangerous non-descript housewives looking for a side income, these monsters will stop at nothing to throw you down and beat the living daylights out of you to fill out an application. Violence is the order of the day.

Even in the relative safety of your own home, theses companies will send you unsolicited mail coercing you to apply for yet another credit card.

The intimidation doesn't stop there! They will harass you over the phone and brow-beat you into taking a card.

And if you refuse? Well by god, they might even make you some more offers!

And then, hell-on-earth, they will drive you to spend money you don't have. They will threaten you in the strongest possible language that you, unequivocally, must incur debt! Otherwise, well, otherwise, by all that is holy, they may send you yet another card!

Imagine, just imagine, having four credit cards! It boggles the mind, truly. I mean four credit cards? Seriously! FOUR! This is, of course, way too many for any human being to tolerate. It's truly unthinkable. For shame!

Oh where, oh where will it stop? When you have five cards? Or maybe even six? Oh the humanity!


It is a plague on the very stupid.

Unfortunately, it isn't fatal.


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