Saturday, September 16, 2006

Calmer days

...or so one would think, if the Dawson incident hadn't triggered more violence. I'm not sure there is any causality between them but it begs the question.

Food for thought: does one act trigger another act of similar nature, even if otherwise unrelated?

One would hope this not be the case, as with violence or assault. But on the other hand, maybe an act of kindness yeilds to another? Causality can cut both ways I guess. The good with the bad. I don't have a good answer. But on the odd chance that it is contagious in a way, my own thoughts are with the families and friends of both youngsters. Two families lost children in this horrible mess. Neither are to blame and all bear the brunt of circumstances of a troubled young man.

As with a previous young man, this one is dead also. Probable suicide. (I say probable because I'm just not sure what to believe on this point - another blog entry.)

This makes closure for the survivors infinitely more difficult. Jail-time, or other retribution, or even a simple explanation are piss-poor susbtitutes for such deep loss, but they do tend to make us feel better. Not knowing why this young man took exception to his own life and that of others is tortuous. Not havng the luxury of accusing, or hating, or pitying is difficult at best, because all that is left is forgivness and grief. Neither of which comes easy when someone you love is involved.

Working grief and rage out of your system almost always requires a target, and when that target has removed itself from your reality, through suicide in this case, you just don't know where to direct it all.

The flip side is just as bad in a sense. The questions, the self-recriminations, the "if-onlys" surface and that's heavy grief as well.

If only we could undertstand something so... senseless?

But it did make sense.

Quite unfortunately the one person who could have shed some light on it all decided that he didn't want to answer any questions. He said all he had to say, then he chose not to share ever again.

And it is that very decision that haunts us.


Post a Comment

<< Home